What To Do When Someone Lies To You In A Relationship
It’s always a heart breaking experience when your partner lies to you in a relationship and you know they’re lying. No matter how little the lie might be, it’s enough to break trust in a relationship. Have you been lied to in your relationship? If yes, I’m sure you’re reading this because you’re confused on what to do next.
Well, taking a decision in a relationship requires thought especially when you’re so much in love with your partner. This article will help you figure out what to do when someone lies to you in a relationship.
Why did they lie?
This is the first question that should come to your mind. Why did your partner lie to you? Some people can lie because they don’t want you to find out the truth or because they want to protect you. Therefore, you have to be clear.
For you to know that your partner is lying, it’s likely that you know the truth or something close to it. Therefore, point out to your partner that you know they are lying. You shouldn’t keep quiet about it and just play along. If your partner keeps pushing that they’re not lying, then you can spill the truth if you know it and watch their reaction.
However, the case will be lighter if they admit they’re lying and try to apologize. Then, you should ask why did they lie? Listen as they give their reason(s) and you’ll know if it’s understandable or not.
Don’t Over React
It’s very easy to over react when someone lies to you and you’re not happy about it. Don’t just jump into conclusion. As discussed earlier, try to find out the reason why they lied if it’s at least understandable.
It’s ok to be angry and feel your feelings. Acknowledge that you’re hurt but don’t let your emotions control your actions so you don’t end up doing something that you won’t forgive yourself for. If you create drama, you’ll only be insulting your personality.
You might be forced to break up with a lying partner depending on how the lie breaks your trust. If you choose to, it’s totally fine and no fault of yours. However, you still shouldn’t overreact but instead leave cordially.
You’ll be very hurt because if your partner lies to you if you’ve been very honest with them. If you’re an honest person, then you have integrity to stand on. This is why you shouldn’t react but instead act maturely.
Should you forgive?
There are several reasons and situations where you can forgive a lying partner. First of all, it shouldn’t be a partner that lies constantly. If your partner has always been honest and then you found out that they lied to you about a particular thing, you might want to consider their reasons and forgive them.
For you to forgive your partner, they must apologize and be remorseful. This is a sign that they with repeat such dishonesty another thing although it’s not always guaranteed. They shouldn’t claim to be right or give any excuse for lying; no matter what the reason is. If they do, they simply don’t respect you enough.
For you to forgive, your lying partner must be willing to repair the broken trust. What you’re doing is literally giving them a second chance to prove that they are worth your trust. It’s ok if you find it difficult to trust them for sometime after the incident.
In some cases, you might want to ask for space to fix things and that’s completely fine. So long as they’re willing to win back your trust after breaking it, you should consider forgiving them.
Rebuilding trust is important if you want your relationship to survive the betrayal. If you and your partner still love and are committed to eat other, you’ll have to work towards getting things back to normal. After forgiving your partner, the journey to build back trust between you two can be challenging. Nevertheless, there are several steps you can take to rebuild trust in your relationship.
Communication is key. You and your partner need to talk about the situation and how to move forward. Explain to them what you need from them as you continue the relationship. This can be uncomfortable since you just had your trust broken but, if you really want to continue the relationship, you’ll have to.
If you’ve decided to forgive your partner, then you should. Forgiving completely is difficult and most times when people say they’ve forgiven others, they still haven’t. To rebuild trust in your relationship, you shouldn’t dwell on the mistake your partner made. This doesn’t make what they did right but, it’ll give you the peace of mind you need to continue in the relationship.
Give It Time
Don’t expect yourself to go back to normal quickly because you want to rebuild trust. For a while, you’ll have doubts and thoughts that’ll make trusting again difficult. It’s important not to give up. Just give yourself time until you’re completely healed and your relationship can go back to normal.
Talk to a relationship counselor/therapist
This is important if your partner lied about something crucial that totally destroyed your trust. Even if they have a good and understandable reason, you’ll still be very hurt. If both of you are bent on rebuilding your relationship, it might be difficult to do it on your own. You might need to seek help from a professional such as a relationship counselor or therapist.
Lying in a relationship is bad. If your partner constantly lies to you about things whether small or big, you shouldn’t be with them. It’s simple, they don’t trust you enough to tell you the truth. However, it’s important to be understanding especially if your partner doesn’t have a lying habit. There might be a solid reason behind why they choose to lie to you about a particular thing. To avoid lying, both partners should put in efforts to establish trust so they’re free and confident to tell each other anything.