Fast growing authoritative information portal in Africa,

How to stop being envious in your relationship [When You Don’t Nedd To]

A healthy relationship offers friendship, humor, and passion to both partners’ lives, making them one of life’s greatest pleasures. When you have a trusting relationship, it acts as a lifeboat, anchor, and sail, keeping you floating, safe, and fulfilled. When envy erodes your partner’s trust and respect, the relationship becomes a burden that stifles personal growth. 

Understanding how to avoid being jealous in a relationship is essential to staying happy. You can work on yourself to control envy and establish a meaningful connection, regardless of what the other person brings to the table.

1. Know that your jealous 

It’s like throwing gasoline to the flames by denying your envy. It’ll just amplify and intensify the sensation. Admitting to yourself that you are jealous is a paradoxical approach to decrease its influence over you. Take a minute to address envious thoughts whenever you detect them in your head. “This is envy,” you should tell yourself. This can help you distance yourself from your envy, keeping you from becoming enraged or anxious. You can do so by paying close attention to any triggering ideas that occur.

2. Know why you’re jealous 

Like all other emotions, jealousy is here to teach us something about ourselves. It might be our unspoken values, anxieties, or convictions. Be interested about what you’re experiencing and why you’re feeling envious when it happens. You may learn more about yourself and perhaps discover the source of your jealousy by asking yourself the appropriate questions. This is essential to grasp because by asking the appropriate questions, you can deconstruct your jealousy and gain a deeper understanding of your emotions and yourself.

3. Understand that there are consequences of being jealous 

Putting the possible repercussions of being jealous on the table is an effective approach to stop being jealous. You’ll think carefully before reacting to your envy now that the repercussions are so obvious. This gives you a little window of opportunity to accept unpleasant thoughts and choose a better course of action.

4. Don’t over-blame yourself 

You are not alone in blaming yourself for being envious. You may believe that your inability to manage your anger, worry, or fear is your fault. Maybe you’re upset with yourself for not getting your act together. It’s fine to be envious since it’s a natural reaction that we all experience. Punishing yourself for something you have no control over will only make you feel worse. Focus on the things you can manage, such as taking care of yourself, being your own cheerleader, and treating yourself as you would your loved ones.

5. Point out the triggers 

Low self-esteem is the most prevalent cause of jealousy, as previously stated. This isn’t the end of the narrative, though. It might be because you believe you are not intelligent, gorgeous, successful, or creative enough. When we believe we aren’t good enough as we are, we experience a variety of emotions, including self-doubt, envy, self-blame, loneliness, and others. Addiction, compulsive buying, binge eating, envy, and being obsessed in a relationship are all examples of negative emotions that may lead to hazardous actions.

6. Encourage Yourself 

You may increase your self-esteem in a variety of ways. You can try focusing on your strengths, acquiring a new skill, making a list of your life successes, or doing activities that make you happy. However, there is one easy yet effective approach that will help you understand how amazing you really are and change your self-esteem around. Your envy may fade away once you’ve accomplished this.

Make the statement “I Am Enough” a habit. The affirmation “I Am Enough” is a type of positive affirmation that is used to combat negative thoughts. This simple exercise is so effective because it addresses the root of jealousy: the belief that you aren’t good enough as you are. The “I am enough” affirmation may be used to replace harmful subconscious self-talk with more powerful narratives if you find yourself getting caught up in negative thoughts on a regular basis.

It’s easy to practice the “I Am Enough” affirmation; all you have to do is tell yourself “I am enough” every day, multiple times a day. If you want to make significant, long-term improvements in the way you think and feel about yourself, you’ll need to practice on a daily basis.

7. Focus on the present and future 

As previously said, a negative former relationship experience might lead to feelings of jealousy. It’s tempting to think that history will repeat itself. However, this isn’t always the case. It is critical to let go of the past in order to move on in your relationship with peace. Otherwise, the ghosts of the past will haunt you and drive you to ruin your future relationships.

You will feel lighter and freer after letting go of your bad previous experiences. It will make you feel as if you have been reborn—stronger, smarter, and better. What’s more, nothing will be able to make you jealous any more. It’s a choice to let go of your past, and only you have the power to make it happen.

Bottom Line

If you’re envious of your partner’s achievements, it’s possible that there’s an unhealthy element of rivalry at play, or that you need to examine how you feel about your own achievements. 

But, in the end, you’re projecting your anxieties onto your spouse in each of these instances – and it’s your concerns that need to be addressed. You should be able to overcome envy if you follow the advice in this article.