Relationships aren’t always easy; in fact, they can be a lot of work at times. Even if your partner’s actions are causing you pain, there is still love in the midst of it. When you stop caring and become indifferent, you know your relationship or marriage is in trouble. Our partners entered our lives for a reason: to help us become better people. As the old adage goes, “iron sharpens iron,” and we learn from our experiences.
We became partners because we fell in love, and we should continue to love each other enough to want them to be happy and to treat them well. These tips will help you have a happy relationship.
1. Make Sure Your Relationship is Safe
Safety and security are the most vital aspects of any relationship. Not only in a physical sense, but also in an emotional one. The importance of safety and predictability cannot be overstated. We are creatures of habit, and living in a perpetual state of ambiguity about who your spouse will be at any given time is terrifying and throws us off balance.
It can make you feel helpless and afraid. To feel safe and secure, we all require consistency and predictability. Living with a Jekyll and Hyde damages your partner’s safety. When we are continuously the same person, we allow our spouse to relax and be a better partner for our loved one.
2. You Must Respect Each Other
This is one of the most important requirements in every relationship. There can be no equality or harmony if there is no respect. When name-calling, cursing, and verbal attacks begin, you are not being appreciated, and it is difficult to respond with respect. Respect for who you are and what you do is also vital.
We should all be able to be our own people and make our own judgments (unless they are not in the best interest of the relationship). We have the right to set boundaries in order to defend those boundaries, and those boundaries, as well as ourselves, should be respected without guilt or shame.
Our privacy and personal belongings must also be respected. Going through someone’s belongings is rude and violates the other person. Because neither couple has anything to conceal, respecting each other’s space should never be a problem.
3. You Must Trust Each Other
The importance of commitment and trust in a partnership cannot be overstated. We normally have no reason not to believe unless we ourselves are untrustworthy. If a relationship has been betrayed, trust must be reestablished. It will take time and patience, and if you are the source of the mistrust, the greatest thing you can do for your partner is to be patient when they have doubts and question your behaviors.
When you get defensive, it conveys the idea that you are concealing something. When you are continuously questioning your partner, it leads to anger and irritation. Nobody should ever have to trade their integrity or dedication. If there has been mistrust, the offender must truly own their mistake, apologize, and change their behavior in order to reestablish that trust.
4. Over-dependency Should Be Avoided
It is critical that you honor and appreciate your partner’s independence. Allowing the other person to be independent should not be a problem if there is trust. The first three tips are critical for allowing independence in a relationship. We need to make sure that we are not fully dependent on our partner and that we have some hobbies of our own. We must be interdependent.
There has to be an I, you, and we. We need time for ourselves, time with family and friends, and time for one another. If we lack balance, we can get resentful and swing to the opposite side of the pendulum.
The most important time away from your relationship is time spent nourishing yourself. Do something lovely for yourself, such as getting a massage, participating in sports, journaling, or going on a walk.
This is where your sanity comes into play. If you can’t keep your cup full, you’ll have nothing to offer your companion. It may be as simple as a 40-minute car ride, some girl/guy discussion with a friend, or simply some alone time. Whatever it is, you must allow it for yourself while still acknowledging that your partner requires it. When we achieve that, we are usually able to return to the relationship as a happier, more loving person.
5. Both of You Must Self-Actualize
If you’re not growing, you’re decaying, and this applies to all living things. We are designed to continue learning and growing as we age, and the person with whom we spend our lives is the one with whom we should be growing. When one partner decides to cease growing on his or her own, as well as as a pair, it can wreak havoc on a relationship.
We are continually presented with opportunities to learn and grow, and when we adopt a blame-based mindset and refuse to examine ourselves and our roles, we have initiated the rotting process. When we are constantly blaming and feeling like a victim, we become stagnant and fall behind.
We all bear some responsibility in any disagreement, and it is critical to be able to self-reflect and accept our fair part. From here, we can determine how we wish to learn and grow from it. Our partners can undoubtedly trigger us the most, and those triggers have nothing to do with the other person, but rather with difficulties that lie deep within us. Make the decision to examine your situation and determine how you might benefit from it.