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7 Things To Do When your Best Friend Abandons You For Her Boyfriend

My friend's boyfriend is my boyfriend, after all.

It is inevitable not to feel abandoned when your best friend starts a new relationship and occupies all her time with that new boy, what to do if my best friend has a boyfriend and ignores me?

You’re happy because she found someone she likes, but it’s hard to deal with the idea that she never has time for you. When a relationship begins, it is common to want to spend time together and she has probably forgotten the rest of her environment because of the enthusiasm of the courtship.

  1. Talk to your friend

Talk to your friend, in the best possible manner

If you’ve been friends for a long time and have told each other, why not talk about how you feel? Remember the trust you share and dare to raise what worries you.

It may be a bit difficult to find a space of time to share, for her new boyfriend, work and other activities. Make several proposals for conversation: a coffee, a walk, visit her in her apartment. Don’t be overwhelmed if she can’t, make time for time but insist on speaking in person.

Stay calm while talking to your friend. If you get defensive, the conversation will be tense. Also remember that this is about your friendship, avoid attacks on her boyfriend. Tell her honestly what you feel, he will surely understand your concern.

      2. Don’t let time pass by without telling her how you feel

Talk to your best friend about these new feelings before it’s too late. If you keep what you think for a long time, you will accumulate frustrations and annoyances that can turn into rancor and bad energy.

If you try to hide those emotions, they may explode in the worst way, at the worst time. Don’t allow a week to go by with that annoyance without expressing it, because when your feelings come out, it can be in the worst way. You risk ruining their friendship.

The best thing is that you talk to your friend when you are calm, that you can organize your ideas and explain your emotions better. If you just canceled an appointment or left one of your messages in view, you better avoid immediate discussion, because your annoyance can fuel a fight.

Think things through, don’t act impulsively. But don’t let resentment build up either. Remember that you are friends and can find a solution together.

       3. Try to keep in touch

If you notice that time passes without your friend calling you, pick up the phone and contact her yourself. The excitement about her new relationship can be distracting, so don’t take it personally if it goes away for a few days. Maybe she’s not even consciously doing it, she’s just excited. Keep in touch with her to maintain balance.

It is also possible that between work and her occupations at home, your friend has trouble dividing her time. Write her a message on WhatsApp or give her a call in case you can’t plan an outing together. There are many ways to keep in touch.

Doing this helps your friend remember how much you care, the good things about your friendship, and the value of each one. They will certainly notice your effort and try to maintain the relationship with you as well.

Don’t judge her, we’ve all been through the infatuation stage and it takes time to adjust. Little by little, things will go back to what they were before. Give her opportunity time to stabilize her new life, emotions and time.

      4. Understand the change and accept the situation.

The fact that your friend has found a boyfriend does not mean that she has stopped loving you. You also shouldn’t end your friendship and find yourself a new friend just because she’s a little busier and spends most of her time with her new guy.

Changes are part of life. Relationships bring changes and must adapt to changes in others. The important thing is that the friendship is strong enough to adapt to the changes and overcome the obstacles they bring.

You must find a balance and plan to distribute your time together. Can’t you see them every day anymore? Make a biweekly appointment to catch up. Putting ‘girlie time’ on your schedule is a good way to keep your friendship going and nurture it to grow.

       5. Don’t criticize their relationship

Be an illumination and don’t criticize their relationship

Friendship depends on the two. First of all, you must understand that your friend is in love, happy and has your support to celebrate that situation. The responsibility to maintain their friendship is theirs. You can’t blame her new partner for your friend’s inattention.

If you say something mean to her about her new guy, she will get defensive. Do not blame your partner for not sharing the same time with friends that they had before, nor threaten her that she will lose her friends or that she will be left alone because of this attitude.

Try to express to her that you feel ignored without attacking her or your relationship. It is not the same to tell her that you miss her than to point her out for spending time with her new boyfriend. It is very difficult for her to understand you if they speak from the conflict and not from the affection they have for each other.

          6. Be flexible

Surely your friend enjoys her time together as much as you. Put yourself in their place and add a new relationship to the daily dynamics (work, classes, hobbies) and you will understand the difficulties of opening their agenda to share with you as before.

It’s a bit awkward to fix all your customs and change your schedules to see each other. But you must understand that she is busier now. Depending on her happiness, make her life easier and try to adapt to her time so that you can share together.

Plan new activities together: Don’t have time to have dinner with you? Set up a quick lunch between your workdays. Can’t you go to the movies like every Thursday? Organize a breakfast or accompany her to her yoga class, or you can go on adventurous swimming.

   7. Include her boyfriend

Yes, time with friends is sacred. But every once in a while it doesn’t hurt that you include their new partner in your plans together. If you show your friend that you accept her new relationship and get along with her boyfriend, it will be easier to find time to enjoy together.

It is a good opportunity to get to know your new boyfriend better and learn a little about the relationship that your friend has started. If you feel uncomfortable you can invite someone else for a group outing. The important thing is that your friend sees your willingness to share with her partner.

Remember that now she is a very important part of your life and both of you must find a way to respect their respective roles. Life changes and the relationships that are maintained are those that evolve.